What a dull life...

It's like I have woken up in another universe and the last 26 weeks or so was another lifetime ago. Until I look in the mirror!

The last few months seem to be have been filled with negative news regarding my treatment. Just one problem after another. Some manageable; some scary. All unwanted.

So I thought I would update you after my recent hospital stay.

No traumas. No sickness. No diarrhoea. No dizzyness. No collapsing. Nothing.

Just dull, dull, dull. And I love it!

It's about two weeks since I departed hospital. On leaving I felt great but was extremely weak in muscle and physicality. Every task was difficult from taking a shower to preparing meals. Fatigue was omnipresent.

Two weeks on and my recovery has been noticeable. For the first time in 26 weeks I no longer need to take daily anti-sickness tablets. The nausea has all but disappeared, and my other bodily functions appear to have returned to normal - apart from my saliva glands.

I have, with the assistance of BFF Annie (who handily is a qualified personal trainer), been exercising my muscle depleted arms and legs and I can now get up from a chair without having to use my arms as levers. I am not ready for push ups yet, but the fact that I can walk without hanging onto someone is a significant move. Aerobically I am useless but strength and mobility and balance is more important at this time.

Summer is on its way and I am aiming to get my golf swing back in action !!!!

It will also be good to walk to the supermarket (or indeed around it) without looking like a drunk wobbling from side to side and grabbing the shelves for stability.

I need this physical strength because I have my surgery in less than two weeks, and my body has been battered, assaulted, thrashed, abused and more!

The Doctors will look after my immune system to ensure I am surgery ready. But I can do the improved strength thing - even though it is so, so, so hard. Prior to my treatment I played golf 3-4 times a week, attended the gym 2-3 times a week and occasionally even ran without breaking down.

Now, I get excited because I can lie on my back and raise my leg six inches off the floor unaided. Small mercies.

The forthcoming surgery has been explained. Breast conserving surgery to my relief (often called a lumpectomy) and the sampling of 3-4 lymph nodes in my left armpit. In the morning, they insert a wire into the boob (next to the clip they inserted prior to the start of chemo), then I get transferred to the surgical ward and wait. The surgery will take 1.5-2hrs at the most; removal of the tumour and lymph nodes and then insertion of a titanium marker for future treatment. General anaesthetic, thankfully, but I should be in and out the same day with full recovery in around 6 weeks.

Three weeks after surgery, histology will tell us if they have removed all the cancer. If not, then further surgery will ensue. If yes, then recovery continues along with a chat with the Oncologist who will determine whether it's further chemo, further immuno and/or radiation therapy for the final stretch.

Lately, I have been on a mission with all of the team that have dealt with me asking them to vote against further immunotherapy. They tell me there is not actually a vote in the team meetings but I do not want my organs or glands to face further assault from immunotherapy. Obviously I will listen to the experts but it'll be a pretty hard sell to get me back on the immunotherapy. We shall wait and see.

In the meantime, I still have some further tests to undergo prior to surgery. An ACTH/Syncathen test next week which will determine the state of my adrenal and pituitary glands. The Endocrinologist is just being cautious I think...particularly as my cortisol levels have fluctuated during my treatment.

The pituitary thing is just to make sure my brain is still working !!

At times there has been little sign of any activity with that organ.

Then another thyroid test - it's still not settled down even with the drugs but it's better than it was. And then another test to check my iron levels. They think I may still be anaemic so I may need yet another iron transfusion.

Then the pre-op assessment. So loads more blood to be taken but I don't care. I have loads of puncture wounds now. It's just part of the process.

In the meantime, I am still on steroids which are bulking me up again and not in a good way. I may be the only person who comes out of 6 months of chemo and throwing up heavier than when I started treatment!

I am eating better but still cannot eat everything. Sweet foods taste disgusting - especially fruit - and my taste buds have generally given up trying to do their job. Dry foods are very difficult to swallow because my saliva glands have gone on strike but there is plenty else to eat to stay nutritionally balanced.

The good news is my hair is growing. Not everywhere. Weirdly, on my legs but importantly on my head. I have a soft downy sheen about 2mm long now. It's quite lovely to touch when compared to the shiny bonce it is replacing. At this rate I should look like a prison inmate by August.

There is a book open on colour and style. One of my friends is convinced my hair will return red and pubic. Let's hope not.

My eyebrows are also returning though not fast. Just a stray hair here and there and the eyelashes have sprung out a little.

These are all signs of life (can you head David Attenborough's voice) in the recently viewed sallow and battered body that we used to call Ali. A relic of yesteryear being revived for one last burst of life.

Don't you just love the signs of Spring...!!!