Tired..

The chemo and immuno treatment is bad enough, but it is manageable.

The thyroid and bloods issue is the thing that has kept me in discomfort all week. Or that was what I was blaming.

Is discomfort the word? Not really.

It was an exhausting week. My weekends are always difficult. I think it takes a couple of days for my body to recognise the chemo and then 'bang', it wallops me. But last week I could barely move with exhaustion.

On Friday I had my end of 4th cycle PAC (patient assessment consultation) with my consultant. Very informative.

I know now why I was so exhausted.

Weirdly, my bloods have improved slightly and so has my thyroid reading. Not enough to make me feel better but these are both positive moves. But now my adrenal gland has nose dived and I am anaemic.

But I am not yellow I said. That's jaundice my Doctor said. You're anemic, not jaundiced. I think he is getting a view of my intelligence that I don't want him to have. My brain is mush!!

Yo-yo springs to mind where this treatment is concerned.

I also had an appointment with the Consultant Endocrinologist who will be responsible for getting my thyroid and adrenal gland back on track. Pre-treatment I was warned that the chemo/immuno mix can affect the glands and, indeed, the major organs. That is one reason why I undergo the numerous blood tests on a weekly basis so they can check on the working conditions of glands and organs.

The adrenal gland produces cortisol - an absolute necessity apparently - so a dip in levels is worrying. This meant an early morning blood test taken every half hour for a couple of hours, and now we wait on the results for later this week.

Likely treatment will be steroids. So I am on steroids with the chemo, steroids with the thyroid and, soon to be, steroids for my adrenal gland.

This in turn has had a drastic effect on my body. The low thyroid and cortisol means my metabolism has effectively slowed to a snails pace and then the steroids mean huge weight gain and that is exactly what has happened.

I am horribly bloated and very uncomfortable with it. It feels like I have a metal ring fitted around my waist and ribs and I have gained quite a lot of chin on my super chubby face!!

So what reminds you of a rounded belly, chubby face entity with a bald head? Yes indeed. I have taken on the persona of a Buddha. If anyone feels a chant coming on, then do pop around and I will slip on a robe and slippers.

There is some good news. I am halfway through treatment (12 weeks completed) so my programme is changing. I will be attending chemo / immuno treatment every 3 weeks rather than weekly. The bad news is that the chemical infusions will be stronger, which may lead to further issues. No way to tell until cycle 5 starts on Friday.

I will still need weekly visits to the hospital, sometimes twice weekly to undergo blood treatment and line care but I am hopeful that I will get more good days between chemo treatments than I have currently been enjoying.

I also have a thyroid scan booked in so will await the results of that too.

Cannot say I am not getting a full gamut of treatment.

I really want it all to stop. This additional treatment feels too much to bear but I need to remember that the key task

is to kill the cancer that is currently residing in my body. It must not be allowed to spread and ideally it must be stopped in it's tracks.

It's tough now. Properly rough on my body, physically exhausting and mentally draining but I am halfway through.

Halfway.

So we carry on, with the help of friends and family whose support has been invaluable.

One day at a time...