And for your sides....?

Everyone is aware that cancer treatment is likely to involve side effects. The medical professionals provide a list for chemo treatment and then another one for immunotherapy. Whilst there is some cross-over the lists are generally different.

Some of the side effects are well known. Nausea, diarrhoea, fatigue and hair loss seem to be the standard for me. Others are less known but they are nevertheless very prevalent.

A is for Anal, Ass and Arrrgh!

They don't mention this one when you see cancer portrayed in the movies.

One of the steroid drugs they give you before the nurse hangs the chemo/immuno bags has a very strange effect on the front and back bottom !! The drug delivers a scratchy / itchy effect within the nether region that can only be described as disagreeable.

Think of it as sitting naked on the bristles of a hard yard brush and then moving along it.

As a fully grown, mature adult, I have to just take it on the chin (well not really the chin but you get my meaning!)

If I was a dog, I would have my rear end firmly planted on the carpet and would drag myself up and down to alleviate the symptoms.

Fortunately, it does not last for long so I have yet to try the doggy shuffle in the Oncology Centre.

B is for Bowels, Boobs and Bloody hell fire.

It becomes obvious when the Pharmacist delivers the personalised drug array to be used in between treatments that sickness and diarrhoea may be the order of the day. Out of 7 boxes of tablets and injections prescribed, 4 of them are to alleviate possible tummy or bowel problems. I believe I have been quite fortunate. My symptoms come and go, but their arrival signals a lot of 'uh-oh' moments. It is times like this I am happy to have moved back into my compact flat in Bristol because the bathroom is very quickly accessed.

Anyone who has faced diarrhoea knows that it can be extremely uncomfortable. Not just the fact that your body is rejecting any goodness you are trying to put into it, but it rejects it in a hot stream of hellfire. This has a knock on effect ensuring that even when there is nothing left to emit, the portal from which it comes is red, raw and roasting hot.

Given that it is my boob that has the lump in it, it seems grossly unfair to make my nether regions go through such extreme discomfort.

Talking of boobs, when I first found the lump, there was no pain as such. Now there is, albeit occasionally. Pain from pressure with an examination, and a sharp stinger now and then that simply sneaks up and takes my breath away.

In my head, I am thinking it's a good thing. The treatment is working and the pain is a sign. But who knows....!

The biggest shock to date though is the loss of my hair. There is not much left on my head. I'm more emotional about it than I thought I would be but I am lucky. I have friends who understand how important it is for me to see the humour in this journey and are at my side pretending to be funny!

My friend, Sian, bought me a jumper carrying a slogan

Getting better and worse at the same time

Couldn't have said it better myself.